Note: In the comments, many people said their noise is inhibited by having others close by. It would be interesting to run this survey again asking about noise level when others are close versus when no one could possibly hear.
As a whole, women make more noise than men do. Two thirds of women put themselves in the three higher levels of noise, while only a third of men did the same.
Eight percent of women but not a single man said they scream.
Are these differences biological or cultural?
All the women who said “totally silent” were less than 35 years of age.
Half of men perceived her noise to be most related to her climax, but only 38% of women say the same.
This survey was inspired by a study which reported most female vocalisation during sex was focused around the man’s climax. Only 2% of men and 3% of women in our survey felt this was the case.
Many want more noise from their spouse!
In the comments, a number of men expressed a desire for more noise from their wife. However, it was not only men – plenty of women “complained” their husband does not make enough noise during sex. Several felt this was an indication he was not really enjoying it much.
Having young children in the house can be a damper on things.
I used to be noisy. Small house + older kids = need to be quiet as possible. My husband likes when I can express myself. My husband used to be silent, which I figured meant he didn’t really enjoy himself. Lately he’s been making a little bit of noise, so maybe he’s starting to enjoy our time together a little bit.
Being able to be loud is such a turn on for both of us. We love seeing and hearing each other enjoy one another. Most of the time, I can’t help the sounds I make at all and my husband has just started to be louder as well which is such a wonderful gift to my ears!
We have adult children still at home, so my answers to the survey were a bit skewed. IF we have the house to ourselves, then my vocalizations can be quite loud, and hubby prefers that feedback on our progress. The freedom to Enjoy The Moment often allows me to move along faster than when I have to suppress natural inclinations. (As a side note, I was also loud during childbirth – LOL!) There are other sorts of loud though, and sometimes I’m a bit uncomfortable with how loud even our laughter can be. Various kinds of activities also seem to have corresponding decibel levels too…oral is probably the loudest. Hubby rarely makes a sound and it’s rather disappointing somehow…but he says it doesn’t indicate his lack of enjoyment – LOL!
Have had comments of neighbors over hearing.. they come across as more jealous then anything…
I’m trying to keep quiet for our teenage kids. I’m not uncomfortable with them knowing their parents make love, (that’s a good thing!) but they don’t need to know exactly WHEN and they don’t need to wonder if someone is being hurt! When the house is empty, we let loose, and hit the “moderately loud” level. Otherwise, I’m quiet and I feel bad about “shushing” my hubby, but I do “shush”.
This all depends on if the kids are home. If the kids are home, we keep it quiet. If they’re not….we’re free to talk dirty, scream, moan…be as loud as we want.
My husband is loud when we are not at home out of concern for the kids.
My man is loudest while in the throes of orgasm. The rest of the time is pretty quite. He will say a few hot comments to encourage me, but he really doesn’t make noise unless he’s close to finish.
Having a house full of kids, does require us to learn to be quiet, but I am naturally that way, he is not.
I wish he made as much noise as I do. Noise makes it better for me.
Went with full-on screaming, since I do, but it’s worth noting that I prefer positions that have me face-down on the bed, which (as a side benefit, not the primary reason) give me the option of burying my face in the bed so I don’t wake the kids.
When we were traveling last spring, staying in family’s homes, we weren’t sure if we should ‘do it’ or if we could ‘do it’ silently. Well, we could. But I love hearing him. It’s instant feedback on what I’m doing for him. I’ve gotten noisier in imitation of him.
It is a turn on to hear my husband when he climaxes. I love it. I usually orgasm at the same time so it is fun to hear. The few times he has been silent when climax I feel like I didn’t get the whole satisfactory experience. But with three kids sometimes quiet climaxes or silence (as much as possible) is necessary.
Over time, I’ve learned that my husband really appreciates when I’m more vocal leading up to orgasm. The feedback is helpful for both of us. I’ve always been a bit of a screamer when I orgasm and have gotten even louder as we’ve gotten better and better at sex. Sorry neighbors!
Depends on who else is in the house. We both tend to be louder if we are by ourselves.
My husband wishes I were louder. 🙂 But I don’t like being “those people” in the apartment complex.
We have done it quieter when staying in a hotel or when we’ve had relatives stay over, and I’m sure we will have to do that at home soon as the babies get older, but if we just let loose we tend to be kind of noisy.
Come on! (Being light hearted here). I am a WOMAN! That means instead of pretty much predictable love making, every encounter is a surprise! Sometimes I can bring the roof down and set off neighborhood car alarms with noise. Other times I can barely make a sound beyond heavy breathing and breathy sighs. Hubby on the other hand, I can barely tell he even climaxes.
Much depends on if home with kids vs in a hotel. Kids still awake etc. so answers are more middle of road for above reasons.
We aren’t always loud… Sometimes it’s just whispers. Other times it’s all out screaming. Then others, it’s just heavy breathing. So we’re pretty much all across the board. I chose the moderately loud option, because that is a happy medium. ??
Sometimes there is laughter, too. 🙂
Would prefer it otherwise, but the remote chance someone might hear us greatly bothers my wife.
Completely different answers depending on whether our child is in the house or not. I answered as if the child was in the house since that is the majority of the time.
The noise level can be louder if no kids are around.
Louder, uninhibited would be better–but with a teen in the house…, well, you know…
I would love to hear more noise from my wife. Not full on screaming but more (and louder) moans and encoura gement ,and an occasional loud noise. At least let me know it feels good.
Would like more noise from wife. Consider it a great turn on.
Since both kids are now in school, we have more daytime sex, so we have gotten louder with no one in house.
My wife tries to keep quiet. I think it embarrasses her that she makes noise. She claims she doesn’t, and I tell her that I love the noises she doesn’t make.
Her screams help push me over the edge. We end up trying not to hurt each other’s’ ears! Just last night we climaxed at the same time because of all of our noise. We haven’t done that in a long time. What a blessing!
Each time is very dependent and it changes.
My wife is extremely private about our love-making. The best thing we did was move out of an apartment with people above and to the side of us and into our own double – storey home. Although she is still quiet so as not to wake the two small kids, she feels comfortable to talk before during and after, & moan a lot more. The loudest she has been was on a romantic anniversary break recently where we stayed in a private cottage about a mile from anyone. That was great!
Probably would be louder if we didn’t have young kids in the next room…
I wish she was louder because sometimes I don’t even know if she’s enjoying it or even turned on. The more noise she makes the more turned on and excited I get.
2 kids, usually sleeping, kind of limits the noise factor.
We have teens in the house (on a different floor, and behind at least 1 locked door) and it inhibits both of us (her more though). When we can really be alone she enjoys being more noisy and it turns both of us on. She never screams though, and I am ok with that.
How much noise we make totally depends on the kids and whether we think the neighbors can hear. In our natural, unfettered state, we make a lot more noise.
Moaning and sexy noises throughout sex, including a lot of… talking naughty to each other. 🙂
My wife is totally silent, so although I was forced to provide an answer for “when she makes the most noise,” it really should be “never.” It’s very disappointing, actually.
This varies greatly as my wife is pretty noisy most times but if we are in a hotel room or an empty (read no kids) house she lets loose completely. We make sure the fans are on (kids sleep with them on anyways) and doors are shut and locked so we don’t have to practice silent sex!! That holding it in Will burst a blood vessel!
I have gotten much louder since we became “empty nesters”
At our ‘older’ age, we find ourselves living in close proximity with other younger adults in a dorm situation and we are REALLY missing the freedom to be vocal in our LM! We were never LOUD in the past, but having to be quiet/silent takes away some of the joy (more than we would have thought).
I’d love for her to be louder, but our kids’ bedrooms are right next to ours. Now when the kids are away…
Kids asked one morning if evening was okay last night. We forgot our door wasn’t closed and got pretty loud. We told them what we were doing and then they got real quite.
More would be great: louder, more frequent, words she wouldn’t otherwise use, etc. Regularly being loud, whenever possible, especially up to and during climaxing would be fantastic.
We tend to try to at least keep it down a little so as not to wake our 4 year old but if we are alone will let rip a little more vocally.
two young children (8 & 12) at home with a shared bathroom wall. We were louder when we were one floor above them. 😉
She’s the loudest when I’m very forcefully doing her doggy-style. Thank goodness for the sound-proofing qualities of pillows! I’ve had sex with multiple women, and something I’ve learned about myself is I dislike a noise vacuum. If she’s loud, I love it. If she’s quiet, I supply noise or dirty talk. Nothing like hearing her scream, though. :o)
It is most exciting for me when my wife gives full throat vocalization to our lovemaking and her climax. She does it only when she is comfortable that there isn’t anyone likely to hear us, which is frustrating but understandable I guess. She can be very loud, but in an indescribable sexy way. More, more!
Young kids in the house. When we get away, it’s much louder!!
Wife is mostly silent the whole time, remaining silent during and after orgasm (until totally done with orgasm)
Would like more noise from her.
My wife is intentionally quiet and doesn’t want to make much noise. I think this is holding he back from experiencing an out of the world orgasm.
She makes it a point to restrain herself to not be overheard by anyone else. If she believes no one will hear, she relaxes and is more vocal.
We would be much louder if it weren’t for our 9 children being in the house! Hearing each other enjoying being together is a huge turn on.
It is best when we’re someplace private and she can just let go and scream out. When we’re at home, she has to muffle her screams when she Os, which somewhat lessens the quality of her O.
I answered as if kiddos were home. If they’re gone or were away that changes and the feedback makes it a MUCH more enjoyable experience
Wife usually has an uncontrollable fit of laughter when she climaxes. It’s noisy, but it’s at least easy to excuse; we can tell the kids we’re just watching a funny movie!
Kids (teens) in the house, we have trained ourselves to be quiet because we have to!
Usually we tend to be quieter so as not to wake the kids or scare them :). We reserve the “loud screaming” and “dirty talk” when the kids are away. That will be one joy to look forward to when we are empty nesters.
Kids in the house (middle to high school) so usually have to keep it somewhat contained. I would probably let loose and be more vocal if they weren’t around. A lot of times I’ll grab a pillow while I’m orgasming and muffle myself.
Being empty nesters makes a big difference!
If it feels really good, you should let your spouse know. Likewise, if it doesn’t feel really good, your silence will undoubtedly tell them so.
Another angle might be to discuss levels of verbal and non-verbal communication. Also I wonder what would come out when considering country of origin/nationality.
With 8 children we use a lot of discernment. Would love for more noise to know how much she is enjoying what we are doing
We’re both pretty quiet during sex, but I tend to moan kinda loud when climaxing from a handjob, especially if it’s been a while.
There used to be more and more use of my name. As kids grow up its less. She also feels like it’s not her. The noise I want the most is prior and after. Prior – I want you…after: I’m anxious for next time. The only one who makes noise around the desire for sex is me. Hurting confused struggling to stay
Would be a lot noisier if there weren’t sleeping children in the next room.
When the kids aren’t around, it’s quite a bit louder.
With 35 years of marriage behind us and no kids in the house, we’re free to be noisier than ever before. And I like it much more. Makes it much easier to know how she’s doing and how to keep her there longer.
Noise is also impacted by when/where we are making love. for example, if kids are home, we’re a bit quieter. if we’re alone….more volume.
Really, though, it’s a range of answers for us both. My answers were modal — most frequent.
It’s “quiet,” not “quite.”
I like to hear sounds of pleasure as much as I like making them, but sadly, my wife hardly makes a peep. Over the years, I’ve just grown accustomed to not hearing anything and not making a sound myself.
She is getting better about not holding it in. It help that the kids are gone
Worries about waking up the kids, although we have never really been loud. It would be interesting to compare the loudness of a couple to frequency / satisfaction.
I wish my wife was more vocal. That gets me more excited when I know what I am doing is pleasing her.
I’d say both of us between quiet moans & moderately loud. Noise from one of us turns the other one on!
I do not like her making noises when my children are at home. Even with the door closed they can hear and it is a sure turn off for me.
DW tries very hard not to make noise and muffles it as best she can. She does not want the kids to hear us. On the other hand am not afraid to make noise. That bugs her.
She used to be totally quiet and tried to hold her breath during climax to make no sounds at all. It was a struggle to get to offer any verbal feedback at all. Lately she will breathe heavily and moan lightly and sometimes during climax she can make grunting noises that are moderately loud. I am a fan of audible feedback!
When the kids are not around we make more noise
Her silence is bothersome to me. It goes along we me thinking she is not enjoying it (even if she orgasms). When no one else is home or otherwise alone ( i.e. Hotel room), I will tend to make more noise than if my Kids (grown) are in the house.
She’s silent – even when orgasming the only way I know she has climaxed are the involuntary muscle spasms. Ideally, I’d like more aural response, but it’s always been kinda like this. Married 20yrs & the sex is great 🙂 BTW been waiting for you to do a survey on this for ages – looking forward to seeing the results…
When kids aren’t around we are both very noisy. Turns us both on when we can be loud.
If the house is empty of other people we both get louder. We hold down the noise if someone is in the next room.
I am the one who make noise more than her very often she is louder than me.
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