Do You Lube?

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Do You Lube?

157 women and 340 men have answered

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  • 28% of men and 31% of women say they use lube more than 90% of the time.
  • Only 10% of men and 12% of women never use lube.
  • Age was a factor. About 23% of those under 55 use lube more than 90% of the time, while 55% of those 55 and over use it that often. On the other end, only 6% of those 55 and over never use lube while 12% of those under 55 never use lube. For the age ranges under 55 there were no real differences in lube use.


  • 86% of men and 83% of women say they usually use lube for intercourse.
  • Manual sex, on both man and woman usually includes lube use for about half of all couples.
  • Some of the other sex acts are probably not being practiced by many who answered.
  • The “other” answers included several mentions of breast sex, with the rest being oral sex.


  • Comfort was the most common reason, given by 77% of men and women.
  • 71% of men and 63% of women said lube reduces pain or discomfort.
  • 57% of women and 37% of men said lube increases their pleasure. Similarly, 53% of men and 47% of women say it increases their spouse’s pleasure.
  • Almost a third of women and 7% of men said lube use makes it more likely they will climax. On the flip side men underestimate this (22% think it improves their wife’s chance of climax) while women overestimate (13% think it improves his chance of climax.)
  • 42% of men use lube out of concern for hurting their wife. 14% of women use it out of concern of hurting their husband.
  • 20% of women and 10% of men say lube allows them to have sex longer.
  • For other, the most common female reason was a lack of natural lubrication. Several men and women mentioned it for quickies.


  • Most types of lube showed similar answers for men and women, but women ran higher on silicone and men on water based.
  • Over a third of men and women say coconut oil is their lube of choice.
  • Water based was second most popular.
  • Astroglide, which is technically water based but very different than most others, was third most popular.

Women’s Comments:

  • Lube is necessary for me at my age, but it causes a decrease in stimulation for my husband’s erections at his age. Conundrum.
  • Things can get too slippery and I have to be careful not to move as much as I normally do lest things come out of place.
  • He prefers me not to use lube because until menopause we never needed it a bit. Occasionally I can produce enough moisture for intercourse without it and he says the friction is so much better for him. It’s a conundrum because we are both 60 and I often need the Excite gel to get aroused enough for orgasm and then worry I won’t make it if he tries to keep going without me stopping to put it on. Doesn’t work as well for us if I apply it in advance. He doesn’t like to put lube on me, so I always do it. We don’t put any on him; he doesn’t like it on his penis when he is pleasuring me to be ready for intercourse.
  • It really depends where I am in my cycle. Lube is needed more at certain points and not at all at other times.
  • Sometimes I just don’t get that aroused because my husband wants to move to intercourse before I am ready. I need more time to transition to lover especially after a stressful day. As I’ve gotten older it either takes me longer to get aroused or I don’t produce as much of my own natural fluids for lubrication. My husband takes this personally but doesn’t seem to understand when I tell him I need more non sexual foreplay, tender touches and kisses, before he moves on to more sexual foreplay or that when I’m ready tired or stressed it’s hard to get and keep my mind on sex.
  • We don’t use lube for intercourse any more since together we produce more than enough, but occasionally I will give him a helping hand with some warming lube. It was an anniversary present for him.
  • Lube increases the pleasure for both of us and helps DH last a lot longer. I really like the way we feel more connected.
  • Needed post menopause. Had not used prior.
  • Although that day may be coming, it’s not been necessary so far.
  • I use coconut oil after shaving which conveniently leaves me ready for a quickie or manual.
  • I almost always have to use when I’m pregnant because I don’t make enough. When I’m nursing it’s probably like 75% of the time. When not either it drops to 25% mostly the week before I start my cycle.
  • Makes all the difference in the world!
  • We never used lube until we were married ten years. We only needed some then because I had surgery and meds were making me dry.
  • We don’t use lube often but do in the case of quickies or depending where I am in my cycle or after childbirth. Hormones significantly impact whether we need it or not. We don’t need it often at all right now but after three kids, we’ve needed it plenty over the years. We also use a little bit of coconut oil before he performs oral sex on me, more for my comfort than his, I think. It’s been a long road for me to overcome that I am not gross down there, and just a dab of coconut oil first helps me relax about that.
  • It makes me so, so sad that we sometimes need to use lube. It makes me feel old. I guess I have the (hopefully) misconception that lube is just for older folks who need a little something extra. I read too much.
  • We haven’t for well over a year. We will not for the foreseeable future. As my husband calls it, “You squirt like a geyser.” So, this has only ever been if I touch him, but he now usually touches me to get lubricant before I go back to him. He tells me, “You are a lube factory. I’ll never have to buy it again.”
  • While I naturally produce a fair amount of moisture, we find that added lube, especially when we change to several positions, makes intercourse and toys all the more pleasurable. My husband especially likes it when thrusting is slick and smooth so he can go longer. And of course I like that too!
  • In my 20’s, I hardly ever needed lube. I’m finding that now in my late 30’s, I need it much more frequently. This gives me something of a mental complex, because it tells me my body isn’t as good at producing its own lubricant as it used to be, and I’m not very happy about that. However, my husband and I refuse to let that get in our way, so if lube is needed, we have no problem using it. Thankfully he doesn’t get insecure about my need for it: he knows it’s purely a biological issue, not because I’m any less satisfied.
  • Saliva seems to be enough.
  • I’ve always needed lube. I can count on one hand the amount of times I made enough lubrication for intercourse. That said, I’ve tried a good portion of the market and the Gun Oil/Pink brand CREME is the very best I’ve used.
  • Don’t be embarrassed to lube!!! It’s messy, but it’s fun and sexy!! It’s so much easier for me, as a woman, to climax (especially after having four kids) when using lube. It makes things so smooth and really pushes me over the edge. And if you don’t want to buy it in a store, online is always an option! Also, you get what you pay for, and brands that focus on making lubes and sex items (like Shunga) generally put out a better product. And experiment!!!! We heard so many great reviews about KY, but we hate it because it’s sticky (but if it works for you, that’s awesome!). Don’t give up on lube just because one product didn’t float your boat. Try heating lubes, edible lubes, cooling lubes….there’s too much fun to be had, so don’t miss out!
  • Coconut oil soothes, lubricates, and is a natural alternative without dyes or chemicals
  • This is my second marriage, my first husband passed away just after our 22 anniversary. We occasionally used lubricants, but the chemistry/relationship between us was way different than my current husband.

Men’s Comments:

  • Use lube always with intercourse as my wife does not get sufficiently lubricated for comfort.
  • Wife has allergy to all the lubes we tested.
  • A must when older, we had all but given up on sex until we found “regular” maintenance lube for wife to really keep her soft and pliable! We love yes! Brand
  • My wife has a rv fistula that made piv sex uncomfortable for 30 years. She toughed it out a lot of that time unknown to me. After telling me this big painful news, she said we were done with vaginal sex about 6 years ago and why not, it had been so long since sex felt good, she probably can just barely remember those days. I was crushed but you can probably guess things had not been very smooth for a very very long time. I felt like an abuser. She now pleasures me with her hand every 8 or 10 days but only when asked. It often feel like mercy sex but I love her dearly and long to be able to pleasure her. I read your blog, strive to be a generous husband and ponder a lot about how to change things. Hope springs eternal. We have often lubed with skin moisturizing cream.
  • We do a variety of love making activities and use lubes for everything except oral activities. After my wife’s hysterectomy, she does not produce a lot of natural lubrication. She does on occasion get very ‘wet’ before the clothes come off but gets dry during activity. She lets me know, “I need some lube” before she gets irritation. If that happens we are done. Therefore, the lube is ALWAYS handy, and the bottle NEVER runs dry. I see to it!!!. For manual on me, I can go dry or wet. I prefer the silicone.
  • This is a fairly new addition for us, say within the last 4 yrs, but it makes life so much easier for us.
  • My wife is a woman who doesn’t require much foreplay she usually wants to just get down to the business so lube is almost always a necessity to get started. We also use it for hand jobs, breast sex and shower /pool/hot tub sex. She even enjoys using a flavored lube during a blow job because it helps with hand movement during and taste after.
  • It’s not optional. ??
  • I always make sure my wife is aroused and self lubed first. lots of oral teasing!
  • I think it’s needed 1st time after her cycle ends. We don’t use it ever tho.
  • Only used lubricant recently. Wife is usually lubricated enough but she sometimes requests lubricant to make it more comfortable.
  • My wife loves this lube by Ky that has some sort provides some sort of tingly sensation. She usually rubs some on her clit before intercourse and says that it is amazing. If she thinks so, I’m in agreement.
  • We keep lube by the bed but never use it. Unless my wife is turned on she simply won’t progress on to the sex stage, so once we get to the sex stage, then we don’t need it. Which means having sex is dependent on my being able to turn her on… which is not an easy thing to do.
  • Coconut oil is our preferred lube. Wonderful for manual activities. And nice flavor and aroma for oral activities. Probably don’t need it for intercourse so much but it certainly doesn’t harm!
  • Not a single UTI since we started using it.
  • Used to use Astroglide but read about coconut oil on TMB a couple of years ago and haven’t looked back since. Only use something synthetic like Gun Oil for certain toys and Swiss Navy silicone for water activities.
  • My wife has now entered her menopausal years and complains of pain during sex now where she never had it before. I suggested using some lube however she would rather not use any at all. We cannot continue when this happens, which is almost every time now. Our sex life is almost down to zero.
  • Menopause mandate using lube Everytime now.
  • We don’t use lube very often because a little oral sex on her typically provides all the natural lube we need.
  • Best thing when you are older
  • Try some you will like it
  • As we age (late 40’s), wife just doesn’t get as wet (hasn’t quite hit menopause yet). Coconut oil has been fantastic!! Natural and not sticky or gooby-plus soaks naturally into skin. Gave up on all others. Has made sex even more incredible – use nearly every time.
  • In our 20’s, lube wasn’t a needed thing. Now in our mid-30’s, it’s a common occurrence. But it’s totally fine with me. Feels great!
  • We stumbled upon the benefits of lube by accident during a massage and have used it ever since. We had used only saliva before that and had never known about lubes. We now add them in a gift basket as a wedding gift so that others won’t have to spend their early years without it or learn it “by accident”.
  • My wife has medical conditions that make her need extra Lube and is sensitive to many chemicals. Finding out about coconut oil (on the Marriage Bed forums, BTW) was a life changer. With menopause fully engaged, she is even more tender and dry. So at the recommendation of her gynecologist, we’ve switched to silicon based, which has worked out real well.
  • My wife uses sLiquid on her clitoris; we use KY touch on my penis head; and we use KY regular up and down my shaft and on her perineum during full intercourse; I use KY regular on my anal plug for ease of insertion.
  • We generally use saliva – lots of it – as lubricant for my wife. She finds that the personal nature of it turns her on even more. So artificial lubricant is mostly used for things that she does to me.
  • Adding lube has increased the amount of intercourse. It is easier. With ED it helps with penetration. We also enjoy the smell!
  • Not really tried lube much. Spouse not particularly fond of the thought of it.
  • Coconut oil works great, no greasy feeling afterward, and it is edible, as well.
  • After a decade of struggling with painful intercourse, we learned that a big part (pun intended) of our problem is the size of my penis: definitely not as awesome as most guys think. Therefore, we have to use lube for penetration to even be possible. We’ve tried almost every lube over the years, since that’s usually the first advice from every doctor. We know we’re always going to have to prepare for intercourse (so no spontaneous quickies), but we’re just happy to have found a way for it to be possible with little to no discomfort for her.
  • We have not tried coconut oil or silicone-based lubes.
  • Grape seed oil isn’t as cold when applied , is natural, and very tolerable to the taste buds.
  • Wife is still very tight after 18 years of marriage. Using lube allows for easier penetration. Also use it while pleasuring her with her toys and anal sex.
  • With enough foreplay, lube is not needed.
  • If people had a good anal lube, they would more likely realize how essential anal sex is to heterosexual marriage. It completes the holey trinity along with vaginal and oral. It represents most fully the required female submission in marriage. And the reason it is such a monumental sin to have male homosexual relationships to be classed as worthy of death is that it makes a man submissive to a man, while female homosexual relationships were not given an explicit punishment, just listed as unnatural.
  • We discovered coconut oil about two years ago and will probably never go back to anything else. I’m not crazy about any kind of lubes or lotions, but coconut oil is great. I love it when my wife uses it on me and I love to use it on her. It’s also great for massages! And guess what? No more yeast infections! 🙂 Another lube we use frequently is saliva. Always readily available!
  • Sometimes I wish she could agree to using lube. She says it interrupts the mood.
  • Lube certainly comes in handy especially when we both want to have sex but aren’t really in the mood. I helps get things moving in the right direction quickly.
  • Just started using it and was surprised at the difference.
  • Much prefer silicone over water based. Water-based don’t last as long, have to be reapplied, and we always ended up with a sticky mess, even without my semen.
  • Wife gets wet very quickly and very easily so we rarely use lube.
  • Coconut oil has so many advantages…no stain, remains in water for at least a little while, lasts for the entire session, we only add more cuz we want to be sloppy…??…easy to buy in the bulk food store by the bucket, if solid, it melts on body contact…how many more do you need?