About Paul & Lori

Back in January of 1985, we got hitched. We loved each other, but we entered marriage with a number of strikes against us (see Our Messy History).

Many of our initial problems were sexual, but given the condition of the church (almost no one was talking openly about sex back then) there wasn’t much help from a Christian perspective. We struggled through, just God and the two of us, and we made it. We’re still together 34 years later. 🙂

why do we talk about sex & marriage?

It hurt that it took us so long to work through our problems. We couldn’t find a mentor and there were maybe two Christian books on sex at the time (and they were so basic it was painful).

We don’t want anyone to go through the hell we went through. Our hope is that by sharing information and resources we can help others get past the problems in their marriage, including sexual problems, and find ways to have a full and satisfying marriage.

a little history

By 1997 we started ministering online in one way or another. We created a website that eventually became The Marriage Bed, followed by blogs. Somewhere along the line, we were both ordained (it gets us in the door at hospitals and prisons) and we moved from a walk-in closet office to full-time ministry.

TMB Over the Years – a pictoral history of all the changes over time
The Generous Wife blog – a daily reminder to grow your marriage
The Generous Husband blog – daily rants on being a better husband
The XY Code blog – decoding the male mind (for women)

During all this transition we had our own landscape/irrigation business for 15 years, worked for a non-profit, and were fulltime caretakers for a dying parent. Life’s been full of experiences, some delightful and some challenging.

Paul & Lori today

life today

We’re truly blessed that we can work from home, which is a fifth wheel RV. We’ve traveled about the US speaking and learning. We hope to do a bit more in time. Our home base is ten acres in the beautiful Northwest where we’re currently building a small cabin. The land is littered with homes of extended family. There are also chickens, bunnies, and the occasional litter of puppies.

We have two children and five grandchildren (at this writing). We attend a local non-denominational church (and have a soft spot toward house church and other small groups).

We enjoy writing and a number of creative activities (Lori’s personal blog: Meemaw’s Place). We’ve gone morel hunting and huckleberry picking (it’s what you do in the Northwest). We’ve learned to love coffee (another Northwest must do) and Paul is turning into an amazing cook.


image credits
© Paul & Lori Byerly