Sex: How Often
169 women and 277 men have answered
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- Thirty five percent of the women, but only 16% of the men said they have sex more than twice a week. In part this is explained by the fact that the average age of our male respondents was older than for our female respondents (50% more men were over 35).
- Ten percent of the women, and 14% of the men are in “sexless marriages” – defined as sex ten times a year or less. This is lower than the usual estimate that 20% of marriages are sexless. We had very few individuals 55 and older answer, and this would have brought the number up.
Age and frequency
- For women, ages 35-44 were the lowest sex years (these number exclude those 55 and over due to low response rate for that age.)
- Percent of women having sex less than once a week, by age:
- <25 27%
- 25-34 21%
- 35-44 37%
- 45-54 21%
- Percent of women having sex three or more times a week, by age
- <25 33%
- 25-34 38%
- 35-44 27%
- 45-54 45%
- For men age related trends were less clear (these number exclude those under 25 due to low response rate for that age.)
- Percent of men having sex less than once a week, by age:
- 25-34 41%
- 35-44 38%
- 45-54 46%
- 55+ 33%
- Percent of men having sex three or more times a week, by age
- 25-34 11%
- 35-44 18%
- 45-54 16%
- 55+ 14%
There is an amazing similarity on this! More women than men want sex more than four times a week – 33% of women to 29% of men. This is not what most surveys find – the difference here is no doubt a result of the fact that our respondents are almost all very sex positive.
Also interesting is that age has little impact on how often men and women desire sex:
Comments from women:
- I’m not happy with the relationship and don’t feel close at all, so I only want it for physical pleasure and not an emotional connection (having sex 1-3 times a month). In happier times the frequency was 2-3 times a week and we were both good with that.
- The reason we don’t have it as often is because of my pain I experience during intercourse.
- My husband would like more but only wants to have sex if I will climax. He does not want to be the only one. If we do it more than 3-4 times/week it is a lot harder for me to enjoy it because my drive is not as high.
- Unfortunately hubby has been unfunctioning for some time now….years….too embarrassed to do anything for it, except his own remedies, which have failed. I miss sex….I am a high drive wife and he was a low drive husband…now it’s almost non-existent.
- It isn’t a matter of how often we have sex. It is a matter of how often I get to orgasm. The amount of sex is great, but I would like to orgasm more. My husband isn’t much into taking the time and effort to get me there and masturbating gets old fast.
- It’s been a year and a half since there has been any intimacy. Not because I don’t want it, because I do!!
Comments from men:
- It’s the most frustrating part of my marriage and she doesn’t get it.
- My wife says she. “…can take it or leave it…” and has controlled all and any physical touch for all 26 years of our marriage. Now, our marriage is hanging by a thread.
- By the time we go to bed we are way too tired and we need to make it more of a priority
- Spouse has no interest in sex and no desire to compromise.
- I would like to orgasm daily. Intercourse isn’t always required. My wife feels that the only way to orgasm is with intercourse.
- It’s difficult to continue to say I want it this often when I have a partner that is unwilling to do this without me begging. Thinking about approaching her for sex brings a guilty and painful response in my heart, not one of joy and promise.