How Do You Orgasm? Redux

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How Do You Orgasm?

78 women and 263 men have answered
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  • 4% of women and .8% of men do not orgasm in an average month
  • 72% of women orgasm during intercourse, and 51% at least sometimes do so without additional stimulation.
  • 2% of the men did not have orgasm by intercourse. A third of these have one or two orgasms a month by or with wife present.
  • 1% of the men and 3.4% of the women only orgasm by solo masturbation.
  • 8% of the men and 5.1% of the women experience orgasms in their sleep.
  • One woman estimated she has 224 orgasms in an average month. Twenty percent of these are by solo masturbation, another 40% are masturbation while her husband is present, half of these with him also masturbating. The remaining orgasms are more or less equally from intercourse alone, intercourse with added stimulation, and oral sex. Based on her stated frequency of sex with her husband, she is having an average of ten orgasms each time.
  • Twenty-eight percent of the women are having 18 or more orgasms a month. All of these women are having at least two-thirds of their orgasm with their husband.
  • Twenty percent of men are having 18 or more orgasms a month. A third of these men have the majority of their orgasms from solo masturbation, while a quarter have all their orgasms with their wife.


  • Fifty-five percent of men’s orgasms and 31% of women’s happen during intercourse.
  • A third of women’s orgasms and 8% of men’s come from their spouse using their hand or a sex toy.
  • Fourteen percent of female orgasms and 5% of male are from oral sex.
  • Twenty-seven percent of male orgasms and 12% of female come from solo masturbation.


This chart shows orgasmic frequency by percent of sample population. Right side was cut off.

  • Half of women and a third or men do not masturbate.
  • None of the women masturbated more than 15 times a month, other than one woman who had masturbated far less often than this but had multiple orgasm each time.
  • Five percent of the men masturbated more than 15 times a month. Two percent of the men masturbated more than 30 times a month, with the highest being 60 time.


This chart shows how many people have at least a certain number of orgasms a month.

  • 9% of women and 4% of men have more than 34 orgasms a month.
  • 2% of men and no women have more than 34 orgasms a month from solo masturbation.
  • Half of women orgasm at least 13 times a month. A quarter orgasm at least 18 times a month. A quarter orgasm 7 or fewer times each month.
  • Half of men orgasm at least 11 times a month. A quarter orgasm at least 17 times a month. A quarter orgasm 8 or fewer times each month.

Female Comments:

  • My husband has never made time to try to figure out how to help me orgasm during sex- we have been married 23 years and I have never had an orgasm with him.
  • My husband is incarcerated. We do what we can.
  • I can only orgasm during intercourse if I am on top. I don’t really mind all that much, because I can achieve an orgasm every time we have sex, but wish there were others ways I could have an orgasm.
  • I would have never used masturbation with intercourse or mutual masturbation when I was younger. I am free now to experiment at my age. Confidence and no more hang ups about sex.
  • Orgasms resulting from exercise…coregasms?
  • Due to little children, we don’t have sex nearly as often as I’d like, but I do orgasm every time.
  • Have been married 19 years. Almost all orgasms are a result of manual stimulation by my husband. We have just discovered within the last month or two that I am capable of having multiple orgasms in one session, and are having fun with that. My husband is always very good at making sure that I am satisfied.
  • Currently, my husband refuses to have sex.
  • Can O from intercourse in one position only. About 12 times a month I O from usually a combo of oral and manual sex.
  • The solo masturbation is when he’s too tired to have sex and after he’s asleep, I take care of myself. I have mentioned to him that I do this. He had no comment (doesn’t like to talk about sex anyway).
  • I usually have to tense my legs and squeeze my butt muscles to orgasm, but that has ended up, over the years, causing plantar fasciitis in my feet. Also, I watched a video my hubby sent me saying that I shouldn’t force an orgasm that way, that there are better ways to get one. I’ve been doing it that way for years, and now I’m not orgasming as often due to thinking that I’m doing it “wrong”. It has really put a damper on my interest in sex. I will admit, I didn’t enjoy the sore muscles if I didn’t stretch properly afterwards, but I guess I don’t know another way to consistently orgasm.
  • My spouse has ED from medications and Peyronie’s Disease.
  • Since menopause, I have found arousal and orgasms elusive at best. According to the North American Menopause Society (and my personal hormone specialist) decreased sexual response and pleasure is very common among menopausal women. I used to orgasm just fine with manual stimulation though my orgasms were never anything to write home about.
  • This is a second marriage for both my husband and I. I am 51 and my husband is 61. Unfortunately sex only happens on the weekends, maybe 6 times monthly. It makes it harder for me to orgasm when it’s so long in between and can get frustrating because my husband is usually raring to go after a week. I feel like I’m taking too long and often will pass which can mean going another week before getting to try again. Although many are against masturbation I do find that solo masturbation in the middle of the week when hubby is not available due to work helps me come easier when we come together again during the weekend.
  • Not sure I calculated this right. My husband and I have sex frequently, and I have multiple orgasms, so to calculate this for a month was quite tricky. Either way, I love sex with my husband!
  • I would estimate the 4 orgasms reported are out of a total 8 or 9 mutual sexual experiences per month. Every experience does not produce orgasm.
  • What sends me over the edge is when I used a vibe and my husband manually penetrates me. Wow! Wives always should go first. It’s just common courtesy.
  • I do have regular multiple (continuous-sequential) orgasms.
  • My husband and I have sex at least 3-5 times a week, unless there is some kind of stress in our lives we both reach climax in petty much any position. However my favorites are cowgirl and oral. His favorites are doggie and oral. But we always have a lot of foreplay.

Male Comments:

  • The female body is awesome. Greatest feeling possible.
  • Zero for added stimulation — tweaking my nipples is great, but it isn’t essential to getting me there. None from oral — completion is with hand or PIV. Manual number includes finishes following oral and/or PIV.
  • I’m thankful for the growth we’ve experienced in the bedroom. More variety would be a good thing. I’m hopeful that further growth will bring more variety especially oral.
  • It’s pretty hard to orgasm without manual or oral stimulation.
  • Due to age and health reasons for my wife, I rarely orgasm during PIV, as it is uncomfortable for her, so after her orgasm, she or I will usually bring me to orgasm manually, often with a sleeve. It is a good compromise for us. She will O from PIV, with a bullet before it is my “turn”.
  • My wife is not really a sexual person I asked her for sex twice a week that’s what we agreed and we only doing it like once a month. It’s ridiculous!
  • For us committed marriage has led to a quality sex life.
  • My wife is a gatekeeper..
  • We have fairly regular sex that is very mutually satisfying. We usually reach orgasm or I will after stimulating her manually or very occasionally, orally.
  • Getting old sucks!!!! And spouse has zero interest, jealous of her friend who brags of being in sexless marriage for 10 years. Only reason I get any attention is because she is afraid I might divorce her and she would have to support herself. Her job as a house wife consists mostly of watching tv, talking on the phone and playing on computer. She thinks she has health problems that limit activity. Truth is a 350 pound woman can’t do much. Typical woman, thinks because she had children, she earned the right to be a lazy slob the rest of her life. FORGIVE ME FOR WHAT I SAID, but it feels good to unload a little. I pray often for strength to stay faithful because there is still a part of me that loves her.
  • My goal is to only orgasm with my wife.
  • We always aim at intercourse orgasm, but my erection is not always good enough, so I compensate finishing my wife the oral way.
  • Wish we could time it together. Wish PiV did not go so fast. Wish she enjoyed PiV more so we could do that part longer even after O. Wish sometime I could go in her mouth. Wish she’d MB for me. Wish I could MB in front of her on her. We have intimacy about twice a month …when she wants it…
  • That was sobering.
  • My wife was always a gatekeeper and has had no libido for 8 years now.
  • I masturbate almost daily to porn – which I use for stimulation. But, as I age, I am glad for the extra stimulation – as opposed to say – Viagra. We have both begun to use sex toys and really enjoy them. It helps both of us. Vibrators, anal plugs, cock rings that vibrate, we use them all. I’ve been looking at naked females and vaginas since I’ve been little and haven’t been able to quit. I’ve been to CR, but that has only helped me to control it. I observed that I also masturbate when Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sick, or Stressed. (HALT – SS) Which I guess we all are most of the time. Daily I ask the Holy Spirit to not let me say, or do, or think anything stupid. So far, so good. One thing that has helped our “sex” needs is the “coins in a bowl” method. That works real good. Our sex needs are very different and we deal with them in different ways. But, I’m always looking for a better way. 🙂
  • My wife is pregnant and suffering quite bad morning sickness. So no intercourse these days. Even before we got pregnant though, intercourse was quite rare.
  • I’d like more variety. I’d love it if she were more interested.
  • Most enjoyable is the ‘mutual masturbation w/ Spouse ??
  • The above numbers would be for my wife. (I guess me too.) Most times we make love, we do two or more of the above I have listed. We have four different vibrators and use one or more 25% of the time. Age 60. We make love 20+times a month with both having orgasm every time but not at the same time. With aging, it takes me longer and my wife a shorter time to climax. I love giving oral, she likes something inside when she orgasms. In that case I insert fingers or what we call “Tongue and Toy” with one of the vibrators inside her. We both have health issues, (arthritis, overweight, chronic pain) but we found benefits to regular love making. Bonding, Pain relief (I am going to hurt anyway, might as well get/give some pleasure anyway.) Better sleep. After reading your posts about oxytocin and endorphins I now understand what we have been feeling and the importance of intimacy as we age. A rare treat is “afternoon delight” Saturday or Sunday afternoon a 2-3-4 hours time of time given to pleasing each other to 2-5+ orgasms for her and usually 2 for me. No hurries, no worries, times of open communication and exploration for both with the purpose of unselfish pleasuring of each other. We are both usually very “spent” (exhausted) after these sessions, but often find we want (and do) make love again that night before going to sleep.
  • We have had “Skype Sex” a couple of times in the last year when I was traveling. Both masturbated simultaneously for the other. But that is new and not regular.
  • We have been using a vibrator for quite a while now with great success. The wife can climax nearly every time we make love and usually more than one.
  • Intercourse is great. A bit more manual/oral would be good. Working on that 🙂 Also, mutual masturbation & masturbation with spouse in room – both happen every couple of months (would only accept whole numbers in survey box)
  • I masturbate often. I’ve been playing “pull down pants” since I’ve been little. Now, it has turned into watching porn for extra stimulation.
  • I Answered for me but she ONLY orgasms from oral stimulation.
  • Radical Prostatectomy, total impotence, use tri-mix injections.
  • ED limited opportunities.
  • I need to take care of myself daily and sometimes morning and night to avoid unintended arousal. My wife rarely wants sex and has no concern for my needs. I responded 1 per month by intercourse with my spouse but this is not certain. Often a month or two will go by without her showing any intimate attention towards me. Not what I signed up for when I got married. I have tried to keep the romance alive but I feel lied to. Sex was all talk before marriage and nearly no action after marriage. A bait and switch that I am the victim of.
  • Some of the zeros are not never a but not enough to come close to average of 1 per month. I.e. manual by spouse
  • My wife and I do not have sex very often. Usually it’s 1 or 2 times a month. So I usually have to take care of myself.
  • I would love it if my wife would try anal sex. I also would love it if she pegged me.
  • Wife can not orgasm from anal but I orgasm during anal sex.
  • We are only having sex once a month at best…. Sometimes I will masturbate alone because there is no relief any other way and she feels wrong today engage in a “helping Hand”.. I have learned not to ask or bring it up.
  • Simulating sex/dry humping during ovulation. Once a month.

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