Setting the Scene

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Lori Byerly

Making love with your spouse should be a joyous, exciting time. Here are some things to consider in making your private time more comfortable and enjoyable.


  • Get a lock for your bedroom door or choose places where you will be alone with no chance of people wandering in.
  • Consider the noise factor. Insulation in walls, sound-absorbing carpets and drapes, cover music or taking the farthest bedroom in the house can help keep your sexuality private.
  • It’s also a good idea to get a locked box or drawer for bedroom items like birth control, lubricant, sex manuals, etc..


  • A comfortable bed is a good piece of furniture to invest in. Not only will it make lovemaking more comfortable, but it will also help you get a good night’s sleep.
  • Get some soft pillows for tucking here and there.
  • Consider the temperature of the room. I’m sure many of you can identify with the temperature issue (Paul calls me Nanook of the North). Work to find a balance between goose bumps and heat stroke. [Note to men from Paul – being too hot will not keep you from enjoying sex the way being too cold will for her!]


  • candles and petals © Ricardomff | dreamstime.comMake your bedroom a neat and attractive getaway place just for the two of you.
  • Buy a dimmer switch and install it on your bedside lamp for playing with light levels.
  • Try different-colored light bulbs (soft pink is nice).
  • Candles are a nice lighting option (be sure and put them where they can’t be knocked over).


  • If you like music, pick something that you feel will enhance your lovemaking time and put it on repeat at a comfortable volume (most people prefer instrumental music, as words can be distracting).
  • There are also non-music sound tapes and CD’s available (waterfalls, crickets, that sort of thing).


  • Be sure to bathe often enough to be pleasing to your spouse (deodorant is an optional preference).
  • Perfumes and scented powders are nice (don’t use too much). As an alternative, you could scent your sheets lightly instead.

Massage Oil © Gunnar3000 |dreamstimeTouch

  • Be sure to clip or file nails (both fingers and toes!).
  • Use lotion for soft skin.
  • Have soft clean sheets.
  • Store lubricants and massage lotion nearby.


  • Brush your teeth (floss and mouthwash optional).
  • Some folk like flavored items in the bedroom (food, flavored lotions and powders).


  • Have some small towels handy for cleanup.
  • Make sure that lighting and sound can be turned off from the bed.

Image Credits in order shown: © Ricardomff | © Gunnar3000 |dreamstime

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